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Temper Tantrum Triggers

06.23.2009 · Posted in Family Articles

Toddlers who have toddler tantrums can make their parent’s lives a living ****. Some of you know this already. Add to that the drama and suffering of your child’s too much! nnAs a psychologist and parenting expert, I have helped hundreds of moms and dads to stop their kid’s temper tantrums. With the powerful methods I teach, you can end temper tantrums and bring peace home. nnThere are many types of temper tantrums. Some tantrums are easy. Just a little whine, a few huffs and puffs, maybe the unexpected four letter word – and then the temper tantrum runs it’s course. This sort of tantrum is normal, and few seek help for these moments. The problems really begin, though, when the toddler temper tantrum goes on forever and becomes more explosive with each passing moment. Add more and more tantrums over time and your home feels like a war zone. nnAnd then, of course, there are types of temper tantrums in between those extremes. nnThe best way of dealing with these different types of tantrums is to try to understand what is causing them. There are a few triggers that we see over and over again. Let’s take a look at some of them now:nnMOM, WILL YOU HOLD ME?nnThe reason that the “Mom, Hold Me Please!” Temper Tantrum Trigger is one of the most difficult to deal with is that it plays on your emotions. When your child is reaching out for love and attention, it can take all of your reserves of willpower not to respond with kindness.nnIt is even easier to collapse under the pressure and give them some love when you know that, if they don’t get it, you are going to have a massive temper tantrum storm on your hands.nnThe trick is to make your child learn how to feel okay by themselves. We can’t always be around to pick them up and give them a hug.nnAs we begin to understand the hidden motivations behind the “Mom, Hold Me Please!” temper tantrum we can start to make positive changes. We can help our children to help themselves out of these temper tantrums.nnMOM, DO I HAVE TO? nnThe ‘MOM, THAT’S NOT WHAT I WANT TO DO!’ Temper Tantrum Trigger is one of the ones we see most often. It happens when you tell your children to stop doing something they like doing. They, obviously, want to carry on doing it. nnThere might be many reasons for you wanting them to stop. You might be on your way out to work. Or maybe their behavior isn’t appropriate for the shopping mall. Your reason for asking them to stop is nobody else concern.nnThe fundamental temper tantrum trigger is that your child thinks that really, the world would be a better place if I always get my own way!nnIt is your job as a parent to teach them that change is a simple fact of life even when they would rather have things stay as they are!nnMOM, PLEASE FIX IT!nnAnother big motivator of temper tantrums is the ‘MOM, PLEASE FIX IT!’ Temper Tantrum Trigger. As children grow up, they start to learn that the things that used to work for them — have now stopped working. This realization can end in mega temper tantrums.nnThey might find themselves with younger siblings. Perhaps they have discovered what happens to their favorite toy when they accidentally step on it. Maybe they knocked over their orange juice.nnWhy do all of these various little situations have to cause temper tantrums?nnThat’s because what your child wants here is to get mom or dad to put things right. If they have not yet learned to understand that sometimes there are disappointments in life – and you can’t always put things right – you are about to see another temper tantrum. nnAs the months go by, it is a big mistake for you deal with a temper tantrum by keeping on fixing things in every situation. Your children will then think that throwing a temper tantrum is they way to get you to fix things.nnThe point to be seen here is that sometimes you should fix situations for your children. But, you should think twice before fixing things SIMPLY BECAUSE they’ve thrown a temper tantrum. nnEven when we do understand these hidden triggers, we still need to understand one further important part of your child’s developmentnnChildren will sort out any upsets – without your help!nnIn fact, they must handle their upsets on their own! If we fail to see this then we will never know when to stop helping them. And, if we never stop helping them, then they will never learn to help themselves. We end up comforting them over and over again. We always try to make everything right. But, all we will actually achieve is to end up living in a world of escalating tantrums.nnPut the calendar forward a few years. Now your temper tantrum toddler has turned into a temper tantrum adolescent.nnThere is a simple way out of these temper tantrums and that is to understand the motivation behind them. We also must learn to trust in the fundamental strength behind our children s emotional upsets. We can then believe in the fact that they can handle their upsets themselves.

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