Surviving Infidelity In Marriage - Learning You Are Not Helpless

By: D.A. Campbell

Many husbands and wives which have been stung by a marital affair have a great deal of emotions and issues to work through. From the intense anger which at certain moments threatens to engulf you to the bitter disappointment of what your mate did and confronting the terrible reality that no matter if the two of you stay together nothing will ever be the same again. Which is a terrible idea but sorry to say it's one that will plague you for a very long time.

Making the decision to stay married to this individual isn't going to come easy. However there is another thing that must be sorted out which is the feeling of vulnerability which overwhelms quite a few mates that have been cheated on.

For one his or her self worth is knocked for a loop. You begin to doubt yourself about anything and everything. What did you do that caused your mate to cheat, what does the other individual possess that you don't, are you going to lose your spouse for good as well as other disturbing questions.

But it will not stop there. Pretty soon those helpless thoughts and emotions find their way into all areas of you life. Before long the decisions that previously you would not have given a second thought become significant obstacles. That is the destructive power of an extramarital relationship.

Yet it does not have to be like that. In order to get through an extramarital relationship and emerge from it with your dignity and decision making abilities completely intact remember to keep in mind a couple of things:

1. Their Actions Their Accountability

Do not let your spouse's wrongdoing to subvert your own feelings about yourself. They committed adultery because of a flaw that is inside of them not you. It is like an alcoholic stating the reason for their drinking is largely due to what someone else is or is not doing. Instead of wanting to communicate the alcoholic escapes to their own little world and makes sure to lock the door behind them. When they emerge and face the rest of the world they are only too eager to blame everyone but themselves. This goes for a philandering mate as well. Their cheating should not be your fault.

2. Help

You do not need to do it yourself when figuring out ways to recover from your spouse cheating. There are many resources at the ready. Support groups comprised of people that have or perhaps are going through precisely what you are. Search them out. This can also be a really good time to draw your family and friends a whole lot closer to you as a way to make it through.

3. Console Yourself

Try not to sit idly by while the depressing thoughts (and yes there are going to be plenty) inundate you. Fight back with encouraging affirmations. Keep it uncomplicated yet be consistent. Also remember becoming busy will go a long way in assisting you get and remain strong as well. Have comfort in that you're a lot stronger than you realize and by all means begin giving you that credit you deserve.

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