How to Deal with Your Child Being Kicked Out of School

By: Dr. Noel Swanson

The British have increased their media and news coverage regarding misbehaving children in school in recent days. The topic usually ends with a solution that centers around removing troublemakers from the traditional classroom setting.

This time, however, the latest spin on this is to make the parents stay at home to look after them, once they have been thrown out of school.

It does annoy me, this kind of nonsense! At least this time there is some talk of keeping open (and maybe even building more) special schools.

After all, if the child is not getting on well in mainstream (which, since they have just been excluded, is clearly the case), then surely the answer has to be to find a type of educational environment in which the DO get on well?

So, if your child has been kicked out for bad behavior, what do you do? Here are my thoughts on it, having been through it ourselves with our eldest:

1. You are not a bad parent because of this. Don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself. Maybe your parenting skills could use some improvement, but that is the true for just about everyone. Try to be a better parent by actively searching for information through books and materials on raising kids.

2. The school has not failed to support your child. Your school does care about your child and maybe the mishandled education of your child is due to issues beyond their control like not having enough resources or poor teacher training.

3. DO make every representation to the local education authority (LEA) to find an alternative appropriate service for your child. Don't be aggressive, don't be rude, but do be very persistent and very insistent. If need be, see your politicians and even your newspapers.

4. Understand that your child may need to move to an alternative classroom setting. Be ready for these changes. It is a good idea to understand that your child needs this help and to nip it in the bud now. It will be much worse later if you avoid dealing with your child's bad behaviors.

5. DO consider the possibility of problems such as ADHD and Asperger's being at the root of the problems. The right environment makes and enourmous difference for children such as these, which is why it is crucial to find the right type of school environment.

6. DO NOT try to pretend that your child is an angel and everyone is wrong about his behavior. Much better to agree there is a problem and be seen to be doing your very best to get it sorted out - but for that you need help from the LEA.

These are a sample of the issues you may have to deal with, so be ready to conquer them.

The previous tips should be of some assistance to any parent struggling with a child's behavior. Plus, if you work in the education field please refrain from pointing to kicking the child out of the classroom as the only solution. That would not be a solution and wouldn't be of benefit to anyone.

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