Elderly Problems for the Co-dependent Parents

By: Dr. Karen Turner

Apart from many other elderly problems, co-dependent parents can unknowingly ruin their child’s future development out of over love and care. We see that many psychologically healthy parents spend their lives taking care of their children and wish to retire when the children have grown up. However, co-dependent parents don't do this. They do not accept the fact that their child has grown up and still treat him/her as a little kid. They don’t let up: not relaxing the authority and responsibility they showed when their child was still young, they continue to hover or “helicopter “around their adult offspring.

Most of the times, the kids feel insecure and uncomfortable with the extreme love and care given by co-dependent parents. Such elderly problems are harmful for both the child and the parent. While the co-dependent parents might want to be helpful and look after the needs of the child, however, when co-dependent affection is shown, the child might feel insecure, nervous, and self-doubting. Hence it discourages the child’s independent thought and activities. In extreme scenarios due to the co-dependent caretaking, the adult child becomes completely dependent on the parents and loses his or her feelings of independence, resulting in the child’s feeling deep resentment.

Many psychologists suggest that these kinds of changes in the adult child due to elderly problems of co-dependent parents are extremely dangerous for their personality. If the child is unable to develop as an independent capable thinking individual, it might affect the parents as well. Such unnatural care and affection might make the child an emotional cripple who will not be able to make any independent decisions or involve in any independent activities. The elderly problem of co-dependent parents usually robs the independence of the adult child making him incapable of clearly looking at the relationships or recognizing his adult role and responsibility.

Psychological articles tell us that the co-dependent parents often lie and make excuses for their child, which will result in a non-conducive environment for adaption. The parents believe that they know what is best for their kid but do not understand what their kid needs. Hence, they rob the interests of the child, and this makes them a robot; simply obeying orders and not following their own paths. This will make the child agree to the decisions of their parents even though they do not like them. In these cases, the child will feel incapable of challenging their parents who are exhibiting codependency elderly problems. Hence, gradually and unknowingly the child loses self esteem and the ability to make his own decisions.

There are many psychological facts that state the co-dependent single mothers face a tougher job in understanding their adult children and catering to what they need. A lonely mother might often not feel comfortable when the child leaves the home and hence blocks the way the child must grow. One should definitely seek professional help to tackle these elderly problems for the betterment of their child’s future.

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