10 Ways to Make a Date Perfect: Doritos and Car Burning

By: Chet Pasture

If the truth be known, we could all use a few pointers when it comes to dating - no one is perfect, especially in the nerve-wracking experience that is romance. Read on, and take a few well-intended pieces of advice to heart. Who knows, maybe your love life will switch into hyper drive!

1) Gasoline is an OK substitute for cologne. Actually, any flammable liquid works just fine, including vodka, lighter fluid, diesel, etc. Trust me, you will get noticed by everyone!

2) Chocolates are so out of vogue. Sausage is in! Show that special someone that you care by giving him or her a gift of smoked sausage sampler. Better yet, throw in come sauerkraut and chow down! How romantic!

3) When you first meet someone, first impressions are important: you need every second you can get in order to make your time together perfect. So why waste precious minutes going to the bathroom every time youíve got to take a leak? Strap on a catheter and forget about it! Converse, share, eat, laugh, and pee without ever having to stop.

4) Things getting hot and heavy? Doritos are a tasty and sexy treat to nibble on while in the throes of passion. Crumble them into tiny pieces and put them anywhere you wish to be nibbled! Yummm.

5) Tree picnics make for special and unique experiences. Simply search for the tallest tree you can find, strap on your sandwiches and thermos, and climb! Once you and your date have finished eating, you can both brainstorm ways of getting back down safely what fun!

6) Take your mom along. Moms are great fun, so no matter where the location of the dateórap concert, bar, romantic Italian restaurant your mom will add an interesting angle to the festivities. Also, she can hold your things when you and your special someone make out!

7) The car ride back from the restaurant or the movie theater can sometimes be a bit awkward, especially when you and your date barely know one another. An effective way to fill the silence is by roadkill spotting. The idea is quite simple: every time you spot a dead animal on the side of the road, pull over and get a closer look. Not only is this educational, but roadkill spotting can also lead to important conversations on death and dieing. Itís a surefire way of getting to know your date!

8) Give a wedgie, get a wedgie. An old adage states that laughter is the best medicine. I also think that laughter bonds to people together, especially a dating couple. If you want to get some quality grins, then give him/her a bigíole wedgie! Afterwards, let them do the same to you, because a couple that wedgies together stays together.

9) Burn your dateís car. You never really know someone until youíve seen them react to tremendous stress. So burn their car, sit back and take notes. Youíll be happy you did!

10) Baby pictures are soooo cute: they usually melt even the coldest hearts. If you want to make an impression on that special someone, then bust out the baby photo book! And donít just settle for photos of yourself, raid your friendís photo collections, your neighborís photo collections, or just pay strangers for their baby photos. Remember, there is no such thing as too many baby photos.

But if you need even more advice:
There is a reason that birthdays are celebrated with gifts and cake and friends: itís just better to make things special. Everyone you know has a birthday, and that day comes around every year--just like Christmas and Valentines Day and Thanksgiving occurs every single year. In order for all of those things to remain special and pleasurable, it is important to treat them differently than any old regular Monday afternoon at the office--thus, the reason for celebrating. Because special events can become so un-special and even boring after time, it is essential to change things up so that repetitiveness is kept far away. This same idea applies to romantic relationships; in order to fight the monotonousness and the typical, you must make changes and put out effort. But, the good that comes from that sustained effort usually surpasses the work that goes into the changes.

For starters, taking notice of an anniversary is a great way to make things special. For instance, if you and your partner have always gone the no-frills route on your anniversary with dinner reservations and a movie, then adding a few simple things could really liven things up. Take a day trip instead to a nearby town that has some local attractions, or better yet, spend the night in a bed and breakfast. The extra money that goes into a nicer lodging always proves to be beneficial because that type of venue will have class and charm where a hotel wonít. Also, when staying at a b&b the room and the atmosphere become the activities; therefore the extra money for lodging goes towards entertainment that is packaged with the room. Even more, some b&bís house massage therapists, jacuzzis, or are part of a classy spa or restaurant.

If bed and breakfasts arenít your thing, then another great way to add some pizzazz to a relationship is having a nice dinner in, and then out for a concert or a show at a theater. Knowing about some small to medium sized venues is integral for this; ask around or call some nearby venues to inquire about the seating capacity and the schedule of events for the season. Having seats near a great jazz band, a string ensemble or the cast of the musical Chicago is an experience that will always be worth having. Although this may take some planning and prior arrangements, waiting a few months always makes the event that much more exciting.

Planning a special anniversary isnít the only way for a couple to make a special memory. An out of the ordinary event that is always fun no matter what the occasion is to have a weekend picnic. Being outside on a beach or in a park on a beautiful day is always a good idea, but adding food to the scenario makes it that much more fun. All it takes is a blanket and some food creativity (peanut butter and jelly just wonít cut it) and you get a great time out that isnít the same old, same old.

Of course, the list is endless in finding things to do to keep a relationship special. Itís important to realize, though, that no matter what you try, the attitude in which you try it in is just as important as the festivities. So go be creative!

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