Get a glass of water. Really! Donít just read on, first get a glass of water. Got it
Okay. Now, hold the glass of water in your hand and pick it up. Are you holding it up
Now let me ask you this: How heavy is the glass of water
What do you think it weighs? 200 ml
Keep holding the glass up. Donít put it down yet. What do you think it weighs
Old Wounds Can Lead to New Romances
As you continue to hold the glass of water, youíll notice that its real weight doesnít matter as much as how long you hold it. The longer you hold the glass of water, the heavier it feels, right If you hold the glass of water for minute, itís not a problem. Itís not heavy.
But if you hold the glass of water for an hour, your arm might start to ache. Eventually the glass of water will feel like a ton of bricks. The weight of the glass of water is always the same. But the longer you hold it up, the heavier it gets. Thatís the way it works in your marriage too. Things are bound to happen between you and your spouse that will weigh heavy on you and your spouseís heart. But the longer you hold them in, the heavier the burdens gets!
I canít tell you how many times I have discovered in talking with my clients privately that the source of their anger or bitterness is something that happened 15 YEARS AGO Did you ever discuss what happened with your spouse, Iíll ask. No. In an effort to make sure I understand Iíll ask, You never talked it through? You never processed with your spouse at all No. Rhetorically Iíll ask, This has been building up inside you for 15 YEARS and you never said anything
Thatís right, is the response. And this discord breaks down their marriage and eventually leads to extra marital affairs which I am then called upon to probe
So things that happened 15 years ago still plagues them TODAY. In fact, as I illustrated above, the burden gets worse not better. But do you know what always amazes me? The burden gets worse for the person whoís holding it in. But their spouse forgot about the incident 15 years ago. They are clueless that the pain even exists. They would be SHOCKED to learn that their spouse still remembers what happened no less that it pains them and remains in their heart. Do you know whatís bothering your spouse? Do you know the root of their frustration? Do you know what they just canít let go of? And most importantly, do you know how to draw it out and how to help them finally heal? You will have to if you want to save your marriage!
I have realized that most people including me have something that continues to bother them, something that happened years ago that they never let go of, something that they never ďmoved through with their spouse. And there it sits; getting heavier and heavier as the years go by. Until finally it comes out as, Iím not happy or I want a divorce or I donít love you anymore.
Hereís a truth: Old wounds that donít get treated aren't really old, they remain fresh. Theyíre still open sores that eat away at your marriage from the inside without you even knowing it. How do you stop the bleeding? How do you finally let bygones by bygones and move on in your relationship in a healthy productive way? You need the perspective of a third person a close friend, confidant or a counselor who can help you heal your relationship. I recommend Sadia Raval and her excellent team at Inner Space Therapy. You can view their and can contact Sadia on her number +91 72084 17557 for any help to sort out your marital issues.
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Amit Sen, a commercial pilot by training, has over 15 years experience in the space of corporate investigations, handling Copyright & Trademark infringement cases, Pre Ė employment verification Industrial Espionage investigations, Asset & Net Ė Worth assessment assignments and among others. Co-founder of Alliance One Detectives Ė which is the best infidelity investigation company in Mumbai, Amit has also successfully completed corporate investigation assignments in a wide range of sectors, including the machine tools industry, pharmaceutical industry, hospitality sector, specialized equipment, telecom industry & the IT & ITes sectors. These cases have all involved both offline and online investigations.
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