What is it that single most powerful force that drives men to forego everything for the sake of sex with a woman? If you can study the problem with all the possible perspectives, perhaps it will become clear to you how the debilitating cycle sets in, in the first place and how to bypass it.
Try to recap a typical scenario of an average man’s situation. Man dates but unfortunately is faced with more disillusionment than fun and pleasure and this happens repeatedly. Have you ever wondered why? Well, the answer to this is very simple really. The more he runs after sex, and meets women only with this single point agenda, the more it eludes him, and the less he gets of what he wants.
All along however, it is your dream to be on the other side of things – where you never think of a woman leave alone having sex with her. And that’s the precise time when things start to happen and you get what you crave for.
Actually, the more you chase women and the concept of sex, the higher chances are there for them to desert you. There starts a merry-go-round, a cyclical pattern emerges, you need sex because you don’t have it, and then barbaric sex drive impels you to move at a break-neck speed, resulting in frustration, which again pumps up the speed further and so on.
Let us reverse the situation. A man who is dating many women, having relaxed sex without any hyped-up expectations and thoroughly enjoying it, is obviously more attractive to more number of women. Every second woman wants to give him a break and loves to date him. His need for sex is thereby not so frantic, nor is his craving for a woman. Women and sex run after him, and not the other way round.
So what is the secret behind this man’s success? How does he swim from one side of the river (desire-frustration-more desire) to the other side?
You really have to take a quantum leap to go to the other side. The process is called “Delay in Gratification”. Here you don’t deny or forget about your sexual needs, but just delay it. Some men accomplish this by taking up a serious hobby, which do not involve women even remotely, like writing, playing music, even working on cars and allow their need for women to completely vanish.
Once they reach this state of mental equilibrium, they choose to meet and go out with women. Women on the other hand find such guys extremely relaxing and comfortable to be with, as there is not an iota of “desperation” written across their faces as they are in complete control of their libido.
Much of this Delay In Gratification is possible once you fully understand the rules of the game of dating. You could say that in the dating game, means to reach the end is far more important, than the end itself. If you have ever gone fishing, you will understand this better. You don’t catch a fish, every time you cast the line. You repeat your effort several times, re-doing, refining your bait. Gradually you develop a natural instinct, when you know exactly how, when and where to cast the line, to get the catch of the day! And subsequently, what you do with your catch.
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Joshua Goh is dating & relationship expert. For more information on up-to-date dating reviews and practical online dating tips & tricks, please visit Cupidwave.com
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