The other morning, I was sitting at my kitchen table eating my usual bowl of generic cereal (Crispy Hexagons, to be exact), when the national news came on TV. The top stories of the day were:
"A giant, killer asteroid is headed toward Earth, and American hog farmers are demanding that manufacturers of pork and beans remove that little hunk of pork from the can, leaving just 'and beans.' Details after the weather..."
WHAT??!! This can't be true! Don't these people know that pork and beans make up two of my favorite food groups?! What's next, getting rid of the Weinies and leaving just the Beanies? I won't stand for this! I'll... hang on, did they also say something about a giant, killer asteroid headed toward Earth? AAHHH!!! You know what that means? A run on pork and beans! Quick, where are my carkeys? I've gotta get to Foodland!!
After making sure my pantry was fully stocked with P&B's, I settled back down and considered the other news of the day. What were they talking about? Oh yeah, a giant, killer asteroid headed for Earth. Hmm, that could be a problem. I usually don't put much stock into such stories of impending doom unless they involve the SWAT Team and one of my relatives (at our last family reunion the FBI cut the power to the compound), but this story peaked my interest. A giant, killer asteroid zooming toward Earth: I didn't take the time to calculate the odds, but the way my luck goes, I knew that sucker was probably going to land on top of my house. I ran outside and looked up at the sky. Nothing. No giant, killer asteroid. Just blue sky and puffy, white clouds. And one damn bird...
Relieved that Rancho Del Weinstock was not about to become toast, I went back inside to hear the rest of the story. What's that? The giant, killer asteroid isn't going to hit the Earth until the year 2028. Well, why didn't you say so? That's in thirty years. I'll be dead by then. Let my kids worry about the giant, killer asteroid because I've got better things to do. I helped myself to another bowl of Crispy Hexagons and went off into the den to watch "Gomer Pyle."
Of course, the next day NASA scientists announced that the giant, killer asteroid was really just a giant "gonna miss us by 600,000 miles" asteroid. All was well, the world's supply of pork and beans safe. Still, I wonder what I would have done had that asteroid really been about to hit this big rock we call home? I'd have skipped that second bowl of cereal, that's for sure. Beyond that, who knows.
What would you do if you thought the Earth was about to become a floating ashtray? Consider the following chronology of what could have happened that fateful day. Only the facts have been changed to protect the ignorant.
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Tim Knox, Entrepreneur, Author, Speaker, Radio Host
Founder, The Insiders Club, Giving You The Power To Start Your Business Today
Bestselling Author of: "Everything I Know About Business I Learned From My Mama"
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