The Biggest Self Help Secret

By: Tracy Togliatti

This article is going to talk about something that no other Self Help or Self Improvement Gurus want you to know! There are a million articles you can read, you can invest tons of dollars in “Self-Help” programs, Life Coaching, Alternative Therapies, the list goes on and on forever. What you really need to know, you’ve all ready been told and not only is it the perfect answer, but it’s free!

We have all been the unfortunate victims of being lead astray. I am here to ask you to consider becoming a survivor, and a victim no more! There is no one to blame for our victimization; it’s been a hideous misunderstanding from the beginning of time itself. We are probably all to blame in some way or the other. We can change that too!

You see, we’ve all been brought up being told what we “should” be and do, what we “shouldn’t” be and do. We grew up encouraged to believe that our parents had all the answers, or our school, or church, or friends, or society in general. We have learned to look at everything outside of ourselves in order to live our life “right” and find the happiness we are looking for.

We have lost the most precious thing in the world. Society as a whole is becoming more and more stressed out. The health and well being industry is booming. Everyone from stay at home moms to Dr. Phil have an opinion about what you need to do, what you “should” do, how to fix you. Read their articles, buy their books, and go on their retreats, and you’ll be splendid. But it rarely works out that way.

All of these well-meaning people out there helping us help ourselves need to be given some sort of credit. I’m one of those people myself. In truly helping you help yourself though; I need to be completely honest with you. You are the only one that can possibly know what it is that you need to be a happy and fulfilled person.

Everything you need to know about life is inside of you. Some call it your “inner voice”, “intuition”, “conscious”, or “instincts”. You can call it whatever you want, or nothing at all. There is Something inside of you that has the answers for you.

The biggest problem is that we are not being taught to listen to ourselves properly. We keep seeking outside help, opinions, waiting for others to tell us what we need to do to get the happiness and relief from stress. The more we listen to others, the more we forget that we are truly the only ones that know what is right and best for ourselves.

With this information in mind, let me ask you to decide if you really even want to face yourself? This is a time to get very honest. Many of us are running fast and hard from having anything to do with having to look deeply at ourselves. Addictions are amok in the race to escape facing the truth about who or what we have allowed ourselves to become.

Its only after you’ve made the decision that you are tired of all the running and chasing, the fear and worry, that you will be able to begin reconnecting to the deepest parts of you. It’s okay to be afraid. Just don’t let that stop you. This is your life that your taking control of!

The first effort that needs to be focused on is learning how to listen to yourself again. Please don’t wait breathlessly waiting for me to tell you how to do that. I can only tell you what works for myself to give you ideas. The rest you need to do by yourself.

Many people rely on meditation. The goal is to clear the mind and maintain a better awareness of what is happening outside of the mental activities. Reflection, prayer, just being quite in your head is very helpful. I ask myself important questions and look at what is going on in my life. What do I like? What do I not like? What do I want to be? I don’t think about it; I just listen for the answers that come from my heart. You might like to try some or all of these ideas for yourself.

I hope this article has given you some new perspectives on helping yourself. Remember, as long as you are not harming yourself or another person, you are free to do whatever your heart calls out for you to do. If you would like to email me and speak of these things further, I would love to hear from you.

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Tracy Togliatti is a Holistic Practitioner and specializing in Energy Psychology and Reiki. She also offers a free advice service and free email Reiki lessons at

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