When children are involved in a divorce it is extra highly emotional. The effects are very devastating to all involved. The time when you thought there was no one greater than the one you were about to marry is long gone. The commitment you once made to one another to stay together until death due you part is soon to be null and void. However you owe it to your partner and the kids to save your marriage first if at all possible.
Often when going through a divorce one has a tendency to let their minds linger on the negative from the past and not the good. The dwelling on the negative will fester into resentment and unforgiving attitude. In order to move forward and avoid divorce a couple must focus on the present and embrace the attitude of forgiving. To truly forgive someone is to move past the hurts of the past and think of the many positive things you both have experienced.
To forgive someone will make you stronger and easier to stand the pain of the hurts you have experienced. Forgiving someone does not mean that you do not “win” or that your feelings did not matter or that you are the weaker person by letting it go. It will let the love that resides in every ones heart to guide your decisions for positive results and not negative. Rather then putting the blame on your spouse, focus on making things right between the two of you.
Be realistic about your relationship and your expectations in order to save your marriage and avoid divorce. Each one comes into the relationship expecting it to be one way and when they first get married it is often another way. For instance if they always squeeze the tooth paste in the middle they will continue to do the same.
If you expect to spend your Sundays with shopping and he watches football every Sunday there are going to be words of disagreement. Do not expect to change a habit for your habit when you first get married. You must learn to agree on activities based on mutual respect for the other person. As much as we would like to we can not change our spouses to fit our expectations it must be a mutual thing.
If they were a neat freak before you got married before you got married they will continue to be a neat freak after you get married. In order to prevent disappointing each other you must learn how to keep your expectations realistic. It must always be about the other person and not yourself.
You must learn forgiveness, both forgive me and I forgive you. Do not let unrealistic expectations creep into the marriage, talk things out and get things settled once and for all time. Do this before the divorce and make a mutual commitment to try and save the marriage, and do it happily not grudgingly. It is never to late to patch things up and restore the bliss you once knew.