WARNING: This week's column contains news so scary, so utterly horrific, that I, the author of said column, hereby declare that I will not be held responsible for the mental anguish or irreparable emotional damage caused by reading it. In fact, I didn't even write this column. I bought it off some guy I met in the parking lot at Captain D's. Do not read this column if you are currently pregnant with septuplets, have a heart condition that is aggravated by second hand smoke or microwave ovens, taking prescription drugs to cure impotency and/or male pattern baldness, are easily excited by really bad news, or work for the US Postal Service. Continue reading at your own risk. And don't say I didn't warn you.
DATELINE: May 1, 1998: The following emergency statement has been issued by the United States Fish and Wildlife Service in Washington, DC:
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Tim Knox, Entrepreneur, Author, Speaker, Radio Host
Founder, The Insiders Club, Giving You The Power To Start Your Business Today
Bestselling Author of: "Everything I Know About Business I Learned From My Mama"
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