Who would have thought that being a parent was so difficult? It was never like this when we were children, or was it ? Our generation is faced with child disorders and disabilities which often put a strain on the quality of the attachment between parent and child. As if this was not enough, many parents insist on using the same parenting techniques even though the child's behaviour does not improve.
Parenting techniques are important because cases involving child abuse or neglect can often result from parents who "go too far" when they are trying to discipline their children. Once parents learn a few parenting techniques, there will be no need to load them into the car and drive them to a distant professional.
The behaviour of parents will always be a a model for their children That means that children will rarely do what you TELL them to do especially if this is in stark contrast to what the children have seen the parents doing, time and time again.
One effective technique is to catch the child unawares by acting in a totally unexpected way. This has the added advantage of reducing anger or tension and can often result in spontaneous laughter which is always great for defusing a situation. The key is to use natural consequences for their behaviour rather than punishment. This forces the child to get out of a tight corner by thinking about what they have done.By doing this, you remove any possible comeback about unfair punishments and you just simply apply the consequences. In this way, you do not have to bother with telling the child what problems he or she has created nor do you have to think up a punishment on the spot.
The importance of involving ALL the family for setting the ground rules should not be underestimated. The parents' role will be to enforce the consequences rather than punishing. These are FAMILY rules, not rules set by the parents. The child's reaction then will not be directed at the parents as they know that the rule of law is the family.
Some child therapists advocate guerrilla parenting techniques where you respond to your children in ways totally different than what they expect, mentioned above. If a child is fighting with a sibling, perhaps that child has to do his siblings chores the next day to make up for his negative actions, instead of being sent to his room. It is the certainty of a consequence coming that has impact with children. Making children feel they are wrong, belittling them and/or putting them down is NOT an example of guerrilla parenting techniques.
If you have a child showing a negative, snotty attitude, walk by and hand your child a tissue. See if your child figures it out without your help. Dont say anything, just hand it to the child. What about the child who likes to say, 'That's stupid.' If your child says this phrase a lot, say, 'No, this is stupid,' and do something really crazy like walk backwards with your head between your legs. Then, stroll away and leave the child wondering what that was all about.
If you would like to learn more about parenting techniques used by a doctor with his own family, the site listed below will be an enormous help to you. This doctor had two children with ADHD and through his parenting techniques, he was able to make them into happy, good children.
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End your nightmare with fighting defiant kids and learn some parenting techniques from a doctor who has two children with ADHD. Visit Robert Locke's blog The Wellness Bible for the latest news on Health and Wellness
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