Your parenting style is the key to raising responsible children. The "Do as I Say, Not as I Do" parenting style doesn't work anymore.
Raising a child is no piece of cake! The Good Book says: “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it…. Proverbs 22:6”
Easier said than done. You will have momentary breakdowns and hair raising situations, your temper would simply tear the roof top! Who is to be blamed for that? Would it be you or your child? This is a question all parents need to ask themselves before justifying the whole act of nurturing as a difficult errand. Undoubtedly raising disciplined children is the most difficult but an important job a parent has but not impossible if you are determined to do what is required out of you as a parent.
Technically there is no right or wrong method to raise your child right. Grownups love to lecture, yell and prod at children for their mischievous behavior or nonstop shower of questions. Annoying as it may seem, you need to pay attention to detail. You just have to understand the reason for why your child is asking so many questions or whining and answer to the point for them to be content and it sure will pay off. After all it’s a journey that they have embarked on called life and they come across a lot that might seem mundane to grownups but is of excitement to your child.
Most of the actions imposed on kids are usually from parents’ own experience and that’s what needs to be looked into for corrective measures. Here are scenarios parents need to put themselves in, to understand what would work better because both the methods would deliver results but to what extent, is what you need to look into. A brief assessment of different parental styles will give a better understanding of the the do’s and don’ts of effective parenting.
Dictatorial style of parenting:
This style of parenting is predominant with rules, breaking of which would result in punishment and is like a closed ended question. Your child knows, no matter what he/she will be punished, hence why care about corrections at all. It is under such upbringing and environment; you’d see adolescents getting argumentative, frustrated, short tempered and display sheer lack of responsibility. Sometimes this parenting style involves spanking your child with results beyond imagination although many claim of no damage done.
Minimal involvement with child – Indiscriminate praising & Use of negative labels
Assertive style of parenting:
This is a highly positive result yielding method of raising your child. Your child understands the tone of your voice when spoken assertively and realizes that there would be a penalty for wrong doing but there is also a reward waiting if they correct themselves. Your child understands the set rules and the repercussions of not following them. No harsh methods are incorporated to impose a punishment but discipline is prioritized.
Children raised under such an environment tend to grow up understanding responsibility better. They understand and act according to the situation in a better fashion and learn to adjust better.
● Positive reinforcement ● Eye contact ● inculcating optimism
When your child misbehaves, get down to their level and converse with direct eye contact. Do not grab them or pull them. This would make them more violent and adamant and paint a shabby picture of you as a parent. Stoop down and with a low yet stern voice and expression repeat “NO” a few times. Your child will throw tantrums, bring the roof down but they will soon calm down too if only you do not lose your patience and remain calm yet assertive. Even if it takes a while for your child to acknowledge the right behavior, you wait.
Children while growing up tend to bite or suddenly hit you and that’s not because they are violent.. They are still very young and immature with limited skills of expression. As parents it becomes your responsibility to help your child understand the other ways of seeking attention or calling out or putting forward their demands. The ‘quality time’ parents spend with their children will go a long way in molding children into responsible adults who will make this world a better place with their caring and sharing.
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