Outdoor pursuits

By: Ruby Roberts

A couple in Greater Manchester couldn’t contain their urge to copulate on a mid-day afternoon in March, spring had certainly sprung for these two. Innocent shoppers were making their way around Oldham town centre last month with their pound land bags in hand minding their own business, when an amorous couple brightened up their laborious afternoon. A forty year old male and a thirty seven year old woman stunned passers-by when they were spotting in the back seat of their car having sex outside the town hall. The couple were seemingly oblivious to shoppers passing by their car open-mouthed in disbelief at what they were witnessing in broad daylight. After they had done the deed, the couple got out of their car brushed themselves down and made their way to a local pub to refuel, unaware the police had been called. The police were alerted to the fact they had moved on to the local pub, met them there and arrested them. They were charged on suspicion of outraging public decency, and were taken into custody for questioning.
The couple are not alone in their outdoor escapades, the big brother of the 21st century, Google, has caught a couple in Australia having sex in the open-air. No one can escape Google, their bots track your every move online, storing your personal information and using it to inundate you with adverts. You are now no longer safe on the streets, Google are watching you big brother style. Their cameras have documented every street in every country in the world, resulting in people being caught on camera doing various undesirable acts. An amorous couple in Australia couldn’t wait till they got home to have sex and pulled up on the side of a road to do the deed over the bonnet of their car. Google arrived just in time to catch the couple mid thrust. Thanks to Google their quickie is now plastered across the internet. Beware people, Google is watching you.

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