Improve Communication Skills with the Opposite Sex

By: Peter Murphy

You can improve communication skills with the man or woman in your life, once you understand the differences in how the genders communicate.

1. Men and women talk in different places.

If you want to improve your communication skills you’ll want to understand the differences in style. Men will do most of their talking in public. Often, that means at their workplace.

Since women talk to promote intimacy, most female conversations will take place in a private setting, at home. This explains that old problem of the man coming home from work and the woman trying to engage him in conversation and not getting a really eager participant.

Whether they both work out of the home, or not, one has already done a lot of talking already today.

2. The genders talk about different things.

Listen in on any males talking and you’ll see that sports, money and business dominate the conversations. In the next room a group of women discuss some of the people in their lives, feelings and relationships.

3. What are the reasons men and women talk?

Women usually talk to express themselves, to connect with the other person and to support others. Men talk to fix problems or compete with other men.

4. The genders speech patterns differ.

Men don’t tend to add decorations to their speech the way women do. Women use intensifiers like ‘very’, ‘really’ and ‘much.’ Often a woman will add, ‘isn’t it?’ or ‘doesn’t it?’ which men perceive as sounding unsure or tentative.

5. They choose different words.

It’s not often you’ll hear a man say a baby is adorable. Men use words to say what they have to say and then move on. Women want to share the experience of conversation and will use emotions and senses in their conversations. Men find that frustrating.

To improve communications skills both genders should understand that the particular words a man uses would not likely be used by a female and vice versa.

6. Giving Feedback and asking questions.

It’s a common joke that men never ask for directions when driving. They are just not question askers, generally. If they do, it’s only to gather information.

For a woman, asking a question serves two purposes. One, they want to gather information and two; they want to develop closeness in the relationship. They will sometimes ask questions they already know the answer to, which often puzzles men.

Furthermore, when giving feedback, men can be blunt and direct. Asking them what they think about a certain situation can lead to an answer like: “That’s crap!” When it is in answer to a woman’s question about an idea, the bluntness of his answer might hurt her feelings.

Men answer to the question, not the person. Women have to learn to not take it as a personal attack. Women tend to answer requests for feedback with a little more sensitivity and tact for that reason- they don’t want the other person to be offended.

We can improve communication skills once we understand the different styles that the genders use to converse. The differences in how men and women talk continues to create both smiles and frustrations!

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Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: how to communicate

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