How to Get Him Back: Salvaging Ties with Your Ex Husband.

By: Finley Stew

Post the end of a relationship many women are faced with the dilemma of how to convince the man to give the relationship another thought. Whether it was your fiance, lover, husband or boyfriend, the hurting of losing the one you love may cause you severe distress. Whether you came to the conclusion of walking away and are wondering why you did so or whether it was him who chose to end the relationship, either way, once you have made up your mind about working on how to get him back, you need to be prepared to work hard in order to get him back.

Once you have decided about working on how to get him back, you may begin by realising that what makes women react sentimentally does not always hold much weight with men. Women and men are known to function differently even in the most identical of situations and what might deliver the goods in helping a man win back his woman will probably backlash on a woman trying to get back her man. While women are open to discussion and reasoning and emotional reminders soon after the break up, no matter how bad a note things had ended on, men need a considerable quantity of time and space to be left alone for some time before they can be expected to pass time interacting directly with their exes. Women in general are more open sentimentality and hence are easier to have heart to heart conversations with. This is not to say that men are without emotions or that they do not care. The fact of matter is that after a break up it takes a man time to figure out what he has lost, actually notice the absence of the woman in his life and then realise that without his woman his life is emptier and less bright and happy. So if you are serious about getting your ex back, you will have to simply come to terms with the situation and accept that he is no longer a pivotal part of your life, at least for the moment.

So, when he goes away or tells you that he needs his space, do not chase him or plead with him or try to make him understand. As hard as it might be, what you need to do is accept his terms and walk away from the situation as well. This may seem highly unlikely, but actually, the first step to getting back your man lies in letting him go. If you agree to the separation in a calm and dignified manner, he will have no choice but to appreciate your maturity and will inevitably reconsider his own actions.

Even though it takes a lot of will power and strength, you must ensure that you do not chase your ex around. Calling him on the phone repeatedly or e-mailing him all the time will only frustrate him further and make him think of you as desperate and pestering.
But it is important that you let him know that you think the separation is indeed good for both of you. The best step would be to either write him a brief letter or to send him a short and succinct message. Since it is a step that he won’t be expecting, it will take him by surprise and he will ponder it and thus wonder about you. Also, he will be able to do so without the pressure of having to respond to you immediately so he is more likely to think of you with a fond touch than he would if you are run after him.

Once you agree to his decisions, it will create an atmosphere of positive communication. He will hold you in higher esteem and will in all probability get in touch with you soon to talk cordially. He will be curios to see what brought about the transformation and if you are serene and unruffled, he will without any doubt be impressed with your conduct.

Also, the old rule about playing hard to get is very important. It will make you seem a little inaccessible and your ex lover will find you much more attractive when he realises that he cannot have his every demand fulfilled and he will work harder to get your attention.

The important thing is that you should not react with uncontrolled joy if your ex starts showing signs of wanting to come back. It is essential for you to stick to your plan for it to deliver the goods.

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