Life and its expectations; or rather, our social expectations of us. Whether we realize it or not, even in this day and age, we are raised with certain ideas about what our most basic purpose is going to be in life. It is natural, as similar roles have been focused on for as long as humans have walked to earth, for girls to be seen as future wives and mothers and boys to be future fathers and providers for the family. While there have been some exceptions in the past, it has only been within the last little while that women are starting to break their traditional roles and do more on their own. Unfortunately, this can leave men out in the cold wondering where their purpose begins in life.
While expectations and views are changing drastically in the western world, the basic views still, somewhat, exist. Men, naturally, are the providers and feel that they have to be able to look after their family; at least the ones who decide to take on the role as a husband and/or a father. While nature's expectations of them still ring out loud and clear, society's expectations can have quite the pull as well. It has always been that the more money one makes, the more possessions they have and the better social standing they have, the better appearance they have in their society. The better their appearance and standing, the better off the family tends to be. Unfortunately, a man can lose sight of what really matters to him as he works day and night to better himself and his family based on what society dictates. It is often a regret that many men have when they look back on their life and realize that they were too busy with work to spend time with their children. Some men do not even get the chance to have any children, because they have never given the time for a strong relationship with a woman that would last long enough. Then, there are men who had made the decision to commit to a relationship, but then later forgot about taking the time to keep in touch or build on that relationship because work always filled their mind first.
Waiting until one is forty before really focusing on what one actually deems as important to them in life, beyond all the material things, is too long. By then, the damage may be irreparable. However, if one takes the time to step back, look at their life and realize what they may be missing, then it is possible that relationships can be mended and changes can be made in order to live life the way it was meant to be. Living life for what is important to one in their heart is often more rewarding than one's life where they have achieved all the material goals but have no one to share or enjoy it with. For those worried about losing their path in life, or who feel that they may be losing focus, seeking the advice of an online counselor or online therapist could be very helpful. Online therapy can help guide one in altering their life and or their views when determining what it is that they really want out of life. Speaking with an online counselor can also help one see if they need to focus more on their personal relationships with a significant other and/or any children involved within that relationship. It is well and good to fulfill one's natural purpose in life, but when it comes to ensuring that the heart gets what it needs, sometimes some extra care needs to be taken so that one does not look back on their past with a heavy feeling of regret.
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Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte, DMFT is the owner of CompleteCounselingSolutions.com which offers a variety of online counseling services. If you would like to know more about Jennifer or any of our online therapists, visit our website.
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