One of the most successful advertising campaigns is Nike's "Just do it." It works for selling sneakers. It doesn't work for overcoming sex addiction.
Sex addiction is developed after years of using sex as an escape. In order to overcome it, the sexually addicted person needs to develop a reality orientation. He can't "Just do it" because escapism through sexual addiction is a personality trait that doesn't change instantly. Real change, not temporary change, is achieved through hard work over time.
The most common form of sexual addiction is masturbation with pornography. The sexually addicted person uses it the same way an alcoholic uses booze. When he's tired, lonely, bored, angry, depressed, whatever, he uses his addiction to alter his mood. Ask him why he did it, he'll tell you, "I just felt like doing it." Trying to stop addictive behavior by "just doing it" appeals to his desire to solve life's problem through a quick fix.
Quick fixes don't work, especially when it comes to the most complex and most personal of all addictions: sex addiction. Overcoming it correctly requires careful planning and preparation. Six week magic answers should always be approached suspiciously.
Most people who attempt to overcome sexual addiction don't succeed in the long run. One of the biggest reasons they end up trapped in sex addiction is they try to "just do it." Ironically, "Just do it" wastes time. Addicted people lose years trying to "Just do it" until they realize there is no quick fix. Had they approached their addiction correctly, they could have overcome it in less time than they wasted on trying for the quick fix.
Don't just jump into overcoming sexual addiction. As I've mentioned in previous articles, sexual addiction stems from two causes. One is using sex as an escape from reality. The other is using sex to flee dealing with intimacy. Before you make any attempt to stop, identify how you personally use sex to escape. Then identify how you use sex to avoid intimacy. You need these problems resolved for long-term success.
If you can identify these problems on your own, good for you. If you decide you need help, remember this about a good counselor: A good counselor is a good mirror. He mirrors you back to yourself. Then he mirrors reality back to you. A good counselor is a guide, not a boss. He doesn't tell you what to do. He helps you arrive at your own decisions. A good counselor is not a cheerleader. He doesn't support everything you do. He tells you when he thinks you're mistaken. A good counselor is not an adversary. He doesn't fight with you for the sake of fighting with you. He is impartial. His purpose is to help you achieve your rational, healthy goals.
On my website are guidelines on how to discover your methods of using sex as an escape and how to find a competent counselor.
When sex addiction is overcome correctly, the rewards are worth much more than the time and effort it took to achieve them. You can overcome sexual addiction. Just approach it correctly.
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For more information on overcoming sexual addiction, correctly visit: SexualControl.com
Joe overcame his own sex addiction in 1982. Since 1983 he has been helping people overcome sexual addiction problems such as pornography addiction, masturbation addiction, infidelity, fetishes, etc.
Joe Zychik is the author of "The Most Personal Addiction: how I overcame sex addiction and how anyone can."
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