Go Ahead, I Dare Ya! Google My Name!

By: Jack Deal


These two guys were almost at blows. Actually they were so puny it's doubtful that if one hit the other it would matter.

"Go ahead, I Dare Ya! Google My Name!" shouted one.

Was it a threat? Some sort of secret code? What would actually happen by Googling his name?

I was intrigued and it seemed neither combatant would back down. That's how I guessed they were gamers.

It was hard to tell exactly what the two techie types did for a living but my guess was video game software. My hunch was one was trying to outdo the other with some sort of code that had made him famous; at least in the niched code world. A Google search would verify that. Hence the dare.

But nevertheless the message was clear: 'you don't believe I'm really special then why don't you just help your own ignorance and Google my name?'

What we see here is the beginning of the unraveling and changing of the very social fabric with which we function. It's not who you are. It's not what you do. It's not who you know. It's what is your Google fameprint.

Some day at some point I will be doing an interview and some beatnik looking cat will hand me his Google print out instead of a resume. And I'll probably take it and look at it and start making notes.

That's not so silly because every company in the land has a computer now and can do their own Google fameprint check. Some wormy, geeky looking HR mole will sit there all day Googling employee fameprints and chuckling to himself.

Those nine public intoxications you had last year will show up. That nasty divorce in Biloxi is forever tied to your name. That infamous day when Junior drove your car into the Dean's residence will forever be etched in the yucks of fame by your fameprint. It goes on. Your New Year's Day DUI. I wish I could say it ain't so...

Sorry. Maybe you really should change your name and start a new identity. At least that way you could start out with a clean slate. But if you do be sure to pick a name with a better fameprint than your current one. Always use the search keyword 'felon' to be sure.

Then again Google would probably find you. You can run but you can't hide. The real problem is not where you are; the problem is where you have been. And with whom.

Some pointy head techie is going to write some code that will link all your past sins to your new identity whenever you change it. Sort of like God on Judgment Day. Thanks to technology all your sins will be linked to one big relational database in the sky.

You are the one that will be sitting there as God waits for your Google fameprint to print out. Hours and hours. You will feel like strangling that Google geek but God glares at you and motions to back off.

At this point you can assume your timing is off. It's too late and you are imitating government and reacting in slow motion. In the end Google, like God, has you by the proverbial walnuts. Learn to live with it.

Strive for inner peace amidst the torment. When you search for God and up pops Google, well, don't be surprised. It's all the natural flow of backlinked cyber evolution. If we can find a mate via email hey, there's not much we can't do, no? Would that be an email order bride? Ha...I can hardly stand it myself.

Besides, in the old days we weren't such weenies and there was a bit more threat in a good dare. Usually it was 'go ahead, step across that line. I dare ya.' Clint Eastwood stuff. What became very clear very early even to me as a tyke was that territory and not ground was the issue.

Today I'm just not sure what the territory is being discussed. To be perfectly honest I'm not even sure about the dare. But what the heck.

Go ahead. Google my name. I dare ya. And if you would be so kind as to please let me know what happens I would greatly appreciate it.

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Jack D. Deal is the owner of Deal Business Consulting. Related articlesmay be found at www.jddeal.com and www.freeandinquiringmind.typepad.com

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