Book editing experts agree: the Holy Bible may be "the good book," but it's pretty badly written.
The Bible is riddled with grammatical atrocities, perpetual contradictions and plot holes as wide as the Red Sea. If the writing team behind the Bible had had the good sense to consult a book editing service before publishing their first draft, the Holy Scripture would have been a much more enjoyable read.
Book editing is a process aimed at transforming any piece of writing into an engaging, error free masterpiece, no matter how dry the subject matter. Like changing water into wine, good book editing can turn something dull and flat into something absolutely intoxicating.
The Bible starts out pretty good:
"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." (Genesis 1:1)
The setting is clear, the main character has been introduced and the sentence is error free.
Things go off the rails pretty quickly, though. By Page 5, God gets lazy and simply starts prattling off a list of Adam's kids, and their kids, and their kids. He also states that some of them lived as long as 162 years, but provides no information as to their daily workout regimen or whether they were on the Atkins Diet or South Beach or what. This is what a book editing service refers to as: "leaving out the good parts."
And it's not just the Old Testament that needs an edit. The New Testament is just as confusing. Judas wasn't the only one who stabbed Jesus in the back. The rest of Christ's apostles sold him out too, by not hiring a decent book editing service.
The New Testament is packed with inconsistencies. Judas' fate is described four completely different ways, the genealogies written by Matthew and Luke totally contradict each other and the writers couldn't even agree on how many times the cock crowed on the night Jesus died. That's just plain sloppy writing.
The Bible is so badly written that in 1978, a coalition of Christian scholars actually felt compelled to convene and issue a statement addressing and defending the divine grammatical and developmental errors, stating:
"Holy Scripture, being God's own Word, written by men prepared and superintended by His Spirit, is of infallible divine authority."
Well O.K., but even Ernest Hemingway needed an editor, and he's widely believed to have been a pretty good writer. Book editing can be humbling for writers hoping to hear that their work is flawless right off the bat. But no one's is-not even God. Writing is rewriting.
Most writers go their entire lives rewriting and honing their work in the hopes that they will one day write a hit bestseller. God sold 3.9 billion copies on his first try. It's no wonder he thinks he's above consulting a quality book editing service.
Even as the world's most popular religion, Christianity is only practiced by 34 per cent of the world's population. Just imagine how much bigger those sales numbers would be if God had a good editor.
Sadly, Earth is still waiting for the Messiah to return and explain what this whole life thing is all about. Why? Because the first instructional guide God wrote about himself and his crackerjack superstar boy wonder son reads like an Aramaic bus schedule.
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