"Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power."
Shirley MacLaine, Actress
Can You Let Go of Your Negative Thoughts and Events?
Negative Marked by denial, prohibition, or refusal; marked by absence, withholding, or removal of something positive; denying a predicate of a subject or a part of a subject; denoting the absence or the contradictory of something; lacking positive qualities; disagreeable; marked by features of hostility, withdrawal, or pessimism that hinder or oppose constructive treatment.
Can you let go of toxic negative attitudes, events, or situations?
I have observed that some individuals will not let go -- no matter what -- of previous negative events that have happened to them.
Let me explain.
Recently, a CRG Associate complained to one of our team members about an incident between the Associate and CRG. That was the first we had heard of it and of course we wanted to address the issue. The challenge was, it had happened 13 years ago. Not one person currently with CRG was with the company at that time.
After numerous emails and conversations back and forth about the incident, the Associate would not let go of her toxic thoughts; she stated she never wanted to talk to CRG again.
It is obvious that her negative attitude was dysfunctional and destructive. Not once did she acknowledge that her grief was stemming from her inability to let go of the situation -- not from a 13-year-old unkept promise.
It has been proven through medical research that negative thoughts produce damaging chemicals that can harm your physical body.
Negative thoughts can contribute to the following conditions.
- Lowering the immune system
- Cardiovascular disease
- Decreased cognitive functions
And thatís just for starters!
So why would people want to keep their negative stuff?
1. It could be that approach is all they know.
2. Being negative is an activity that gets the attention of others. We see this behavior in poorly parented children as young as age 2. If acting up is the only way they can get attention, guess what they do? Adults act up, too.
The fact is that unless we are willing and able to let go of our stuff, our stuff controls our thoughts, our direction, and our outcomes.
Even though CRG wanted to resolve the 13-year-old issue with our Associate, in the end she was not able to release it. She was not willing to bring closure to her long-term habit of being mad at that long-ago event.
If she had let it go, she would have been able to fully engage in productive work with CRG.
It is unfortunate but, for some individuals, negativity is all they can contribute.
Would others call you a whiner or a complainer?
Most of us have stuff we need to let go. Whatís on your list that you need to banish from your mind?
By the way, it does not matter how offensive your stuff was, let it go.
Why? Because it is damaging your body, mind, soul, and relationships!
Think about it! Do you know someone with a chip on his or her shoulder? (Chips are things that individuals have not let go.) Do you like to be around people with chips? Probably not -- because they are toxic!
Some individuals have become so accustomed to being miserable and negative, they donít understand anything else. In fact, their entire identity is being suffocated by their high-maintenance, drama-driven, dysfunctional personality. These people are on the road to personal destruction. Get off their path as soon as possible, so you donít get sucked into their caustic environment!
Personal relationships are especially corrosive if the parties will not let go of past hurts as they continue to do reruns of previous offenses.
In all 12-step programs, the first step is letting go.
The only person who suffers from not letting go
is the one who will not let go.
Who cares what others have said or done to you?! Unless you permit the past to affect you, it cannot. The greatest leaders are individuals who can let go and move on. That doesnít mean we condone bad actions or events -- just that we are not going to let the detrimental effects from our past continue into our future.
Move on. Donít let situations or others take you out.
I encourage you to consider the Action Steps below to help you let go of past hurts -- while you live your life on purpose.
ACTION STEPS for Letting Go of Your Negative Thoughts and Events
1. Are there events in your life that you have not let go?
2. If your answer is Yes, list as many as you can, right now!
3. Be real. What is this negative attitude costing you in terms of your overall wellness and enjoyment of life?
4. Be aware that all negative attitudes or thoughts produce harmful toxins in the body that can manifest themselves in the physical and mental conditions previously mentioned in this article.
5. Think of a caustic/toxic person who will not let go of the past. What affect does this individual have on others and on you? Honestly, is he or she the type of person you want in your life as a role model or a friend?
6. At this moment, start the process of letting go of stuff that you are still carrying unnecessarily. What steps can you take to help you achieve freedom from those burdens?
7. Letting go does not condone the events. It means they no longer affect you negatively into the future.
8. Do you know someone who could benefit from this message? Pass it on -- or be a real friend and tell the person the real impact of his or her behavior on everyone!
9. Letting go will provide you the freedom and ability to fully engage and enjoy your life. Donít wait -- do it now!
Until next time, keep Living On Purpose,
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Ken Keis, MBA, CPC, is an internationally known author, speaker, and consultant. He is President and CEO of CRG Consulting Resource Group International, Inc., Many professionals herald CRG as the Number One global resource center for Personal and Professional Development.
For information on CRG Resources, please visit crgleader.com
For information on Kenís Training and Speaking Programs, please visit kenkeis.com
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