A wise man once said, "If you ignore something long enough, eventually it will go away." Actually, he said it several times, but nobody listened so he left.
That old saw is one reason I've never done a column on Beanie Babies. I thought that if I could just resist the urge to poke fun and ignore their existence long enough, they would eventually go the way of Cabbage Patch Dolls and Tickle Me Elmos. Of course, ignoring them didn't work and I should have known better. I've been ignoring my kids for years and they're still around, standing right outside the bathroom door, pounding on it, asking me what I'm reading in there. My oldest caught me looking at the newspaper on the front porch the other day and asked if I shouldn't be doing that in private. I think it's time to talk boarding school. Russian boarding school. But first, comrade, back to the subject at hand.
I think Beanie Babies are cute, cuddly little creatures, and I will admit to having spent a few of my hard- earned dollars on Beanies for my baby girl to play with (I can hear many of you screaming, "They're not meant to be played with!"). But never have I sat outside a McDonald's at two in the morning waiting for it to open so I could get an Egg McMuffin and a Teenie Beanie to go. And I apologize in advance if I insult anyone, but I think people who go to such great lengths to buy a child's toy need help. And that's what this column is all about.
You see, my sister, a normally sane, rational human being, is awash in the Beanie Baby craze. She has tiny synthetic pellets racing through her veins and they are starting to affect every facet of her life. She is the reason I am willing to break my vow of ignorance and speak out against these demons in plush clothing. The thought of her sitting outside a Hallmark store at three in the morning staring blindly at a dog- eared copy of "The Beanie Baby Bible" just sends chills down my spine. The woman needs help, my friends, and I am willing to take on the task at hand.
So, to help my dear sister and the millions of others who have fallen under the spell of Beanie Baby mania, I am officially founding Beanie Babies Anonymous, an organization dedicated to helping you just say no to Beanie Babies. BBA will follow a simple 4-step program designed to help even the most severely- addicted junkie kick his/her Beanie Baby habit.
Here are the 4 steps of BBA. Follow them to the letter and soon your life will be yours to live again:
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From "Small Business Q&A" With Tim Knox
Tim Knox is a nationally-known entrepreneur, author, speaker, and radio show host.
Tim has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs realize their business dreams.
To learn more please visit www.timknox.com
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