Are you frustrated by your husband?

By: Dr. Jennifer B. Lagrotte, DMFT

Life, as predictable as it can be and as unpredictable as it is, is never as perfect as one would like it to be. It is common for many young girls to grow up with the belief that they will find true love, that they will find that perfect husband and their life will, for the most part, follow the expected path. It does not take long, however, before reality hits and things are noticeably different than what they had originally thought they would be. Suddenly, after the first year of marriage or at least after the infatuation dies away, the 'perfect' man is not quite the person they may have thought he was.

The truth that any woman should face before they decide they want to get married to that particular person they have been dating for a while is that they might have quirks, or little annoying habits that may have been overlooked. While these are simply something that will have to be lived with if they love that person enough to be with them the rest of their lives, there might be some other traits or quirks that they may not be able to live with. After being married for a while, the little annoying traits in behavior or personality may become, somewhat, magnified into something that can drive the wife into bad temper. Perhaps the husband who promised they would be a certain way, and may have been a certain way when they were dating, are now a little more the opposite of all that. When dating, everyone wants to appear their best, so it is not uncommon for both husband and wife to see some changes in the other after the dating is over and they have made the commitment to each other. As time goes on, either the wife will realize that the little irritations are outmatched by the positives of the person she married, or she may find that she is losing patience. Depending on what it is that she is frustrated with her husband with, it can become a strain on the marriage.

The important thing in any relationship where the wife is becoming increasingly annoyed and frustrated with their husband, is that talking to the husband can help to bring an end to what it is that is getting on her nerves. By talking to him, he might be able to change what he's doing to cause her annoyance, or they might be able to reconcile or come to a compromise that can make both happy. Marriage takes work and letting some quirks or small things that the wife might find irritating about her husband should not be the cause for a breakup. Leaving the marriage should be the last resort, communication should be tried first. If that does not work, contacting an online counselor or online therapist can help. Online counseling or online therapy may be able to help the couple realize that the things they are annoyed are not that important. In fact, it could help the wife, and even the husband, remember why they married this person. It could help take the focus off the few negative aspects, and focus more on the positives.

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Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte, DMFT is the owner of which offers a variety of online counseling services. If you would like to know more about Jennifer or any of our online therapists, visit our website.

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