Angry Children: How To Help Them

By: James DeSantis


When it comes to showing anger, adults do not hesitate to verbally express it but children have much different ways of dealing with anger. Here are some obvious signs that your child may need help and what to do to help them.

Kids are normally forthcoming with regards to sharing feelings and emotions. While your child may be burdened with feelings of pain and guilt, you will never learn it from a conversation without knowing how to steer the conversation with the right questions. However, you can know a child's real feelings because they are usually displayed in their visible behavior.

When a child is sad they may keep to themselves or have little to say. When a child feels guilty they may avoid people and stay in their room. When a child is angry they may break their toys, scream or throw a tantrum. Children are not always verbal about their emotions but their actions often speak louder than words.

When kids show signs of anger, bursting into fits or rage and rolling around the floor in tantrums, this is a sign that there is a problem that cannot be ignored. This should tell you that your child needs help that you, as a parent, can give even though you may be the target of the anger. Left untreated, this problem could evolve into a mountain of difficulty in the future.

If you are worried about a child with behavioral trouble regarding anger, professional anger management tolls are available and can be effective in dealing with a child's problems with anger. Finding the best program or person to help will require some research and experimenting. Many different resources provide tips about anger management for kids. There are books, movies and plenty of helpful information provided by sites on the Internet.

Helping a child deal with their emotions will involve special programs geared toward kids because a child will not benefit from adult anger management programs, nor will they benefit from taking an adult anger management course. These programs are just too mature for children. Their minds are not mature enough to openly talk about their feelings. In fact, they may not understand what's happening and blame themselves for the problem.

As a rule, even a professional counselor will not expect a child to open up and tell them the exact emotion which is making them angry. These are details which must be discovered through a series of activities regarding anger management for kids.

Kids respond best to activities. Activities involving games are smart tools to use to help the child display the real reasons behind their anger. Activities will teach them positive values and show them acceptable behavior traits through various games. Activities are much more effective than a one-on-one session with an anger management counselor. Providing them with worksheets, coloring pages, puzzles and quizzes makes anger management for kids more interesting and enjoyable. In this way, children actually participate in a program that helps them without actually realizing it.

Anger management is also a hard concept to explain to small children because they are unaware of their exact feelings and they are not equipped to think quickly and rationalize their decisions. You cannot talk a child out of being angry by trying to treat them as having adult reasoning skills. That will just frustrate your child and, perhaps, make them feel even more inadequate. This is why activities, which are fun and do not require logical thinking, work best.

Teaching your child anger management skills now is essential to prevent them from becoming difficult adults, something that could negatively affect how they interact in the world and, thus, negatively impact their personal and financial future. A child needs to learn how to behave appropriately in different situations. The must know that it is perfectly fine to be upset but they must also understand that their anger should not be used in a negative way. When they become adults they will use these skills to be happier and well balanced.

Teaching kids anger management skills early in life will provide building blocks for their future. Through repetitious activities and practices, kids will eventually learn how to manage their anger. The upside is a more balanced child who grows into a more balanced adult and, for you, the upside is a much more peaceful home.

One final note: If you, the parent, suffer from outbursts of anger, your child is taking a cue from you so, perhaps, you too need to seek resources that can help you manage your anger.

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Jim Jim DeSantis is an Internet Publisher and retired Pastoral Counselor who provides access to ebooks and audio on Anger Management for children. Click on "Curb Your Kid" or on "Anger Management"- here - www.answersplus.info .

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