Listing below some topics to keep away from, while talking during a date:
• Avoid talking about things which stir up memories of negative things, like violence, wrestling, rape, child abuse, death stories, animosity, hatred, cruelty. She is a woman after all!
• Avoid bringing up the past – both hers and yours. If she is curious about yours, steer the conversation on to something else. And never pass any derogatory comment about any past woman you may have had a relationship with.
• Never demean yourself, even if you mean it as a joke, as it gives a signal of low self-esteem. And you will never get her on your side, sympathetically or empathetically.
• Any topic that can be remotely controversial, like racism, apartheid, abortion, religion.
• What is wrong with her professional life and her boss or her employer. This triggers negative memories and does not add any value to your dating time.
• Never broach the topic of her past romantic liaisons.
• Issues related to health problems or past or present illnesses.
• Don’t show off or overtly display your affluence or bank credit ratings. If she is looking at your purse, there is hardly any point in continuing with this relationship. Even if she reminds you of Angelina Jolie. Let her look up “Gold Digger’s Monthly”. What are you doing there?
• Start screening those “typical” date questions that show no creativity or originality. Also, if by any way, you give her the impression as to your ultimate aim: “Ok, have coffee, afterwards, let’s have sex”, you will make sure you are showing her the quick way to make an exit.
• Avoid any talk that connects to sex in some way or the other. Even admiring a “sexy” picture fall under this category. Of course, if she broaches the topic, that’s a different issue. Some men think that by discussing such “sexual” topics, he is sending her “feelers”. That by this way he will know whether she is “on”, even for a one nighter. (See the Sexual Reversal Strategy below.)
• Regarding family issues, talk only in general terms and speak well of everyone. There is enough time left in future, when both of you can exchange notes on how horrible some of the family issues are!
And to mention the last but never the least important issue to avoid: Do not boast and become an “I” specialist! Keep the stories of your conquering the world and winning almost all battles in life to yourself please. I have heard many women complain about this fact – that if they start a topic, any topic for that matter, men instantly pick up a cue from there and start narrating their tales of victory and triumph.
Women are, by nature, a slightly unassertive lot, when it comes to conversation with men. Men like demarcating their territory, stake their claims and establish their own domain and while talking, take the woman to be just another man and rattle off. Unfortunately, they don’t realize that these things do not improve his ratings with her – what does is the self-confidence that arises out of well-practiced self-discipline manifested when he shuts up! There is no other alternative to practicing “restraint”, in speech and action, when it comes to impressing a woman.
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Joshua Goh is dating & relationship expert. For more information on up-to-date dating reviews and practical online dating tips & tricks, please visit Cupidwave.com
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