We all know at least one guy who can seemingly walk into a crowded bar or club and attract the attention of the most beautiful girl in the place. But whilst some people have the natural confidence to carry this off, most of us are just too shy or insecure to even take the first step. But it's not as difficult as you think - some people might be born to it whilst the rest of can develop the necessary interpersonal skills needed to be a successful pickup artist. Just follow these few simple rules and you days of lurking in the shadows will be a thing of the past...
Smile. It may be a cliche but if you smile, the whole world smiles with you. If you look happy and confident when you stroll up to a lovely lady, you're already at first base without even trying. So leave your serious face at home!
Add value to yourself. Get some good clothes, some nice after-shave and a decent haircut. And if you think you do with a little toning, then why not join your local gym? If you know you look good, your confidence factor will increase significantly.
Think of a killer opening line. Before you actually approach your target, you need to work out in advance what you're going to say as an opening gambit. The best approach is 'fun and funny'; humour is a real ice-breaker so if you make her laugh, it'll create a terrific first impression.
Never approach solo women. A woman sitting on her own is almost certianly waiting for a friend, or even worse, her boyfriend. If you've spotted a woman that you like the look of sitting by herself, wait and see who arrives before jumping in and introducing herself.
Approach women in a group. Pay attention to all your target's friends, then ignore the woman you want. This will throw a little confusion into the mix and your real target will want to talk to you all the more.
Give your target a couple of negatives. Don't gush all over her and over egg the compliments pudding. Throw in a few backhanded compliments or playful insults to lower her self-esteem, which you can later build back up: "Your nails look nice - are they real?"
Give a false time constraint. However much you want to stay and talk, you should say you can only stay a few minutes. This implies you won't hang around long enough to bother her but if you're getting on well, she'll soon forget that. Also, she'll be flattered that you stayed and talked to her when you actually had something else to do.
Don't lean in. Body language is all important in this kind of scenario. Lean back as if poised to leave, don't crowd her or lean over her when you're chatting.
Have a male friend with you. It's always best to have your 'wing man' to distract your target's friends and remember, if you walk into a bar or club on your own, you'll look like you're obviously 'on the hunt' which can be a real turn-off.
Don't just talk about yourself. If you spend the evening talking about yourself, you'll convey the impression of being both egotistical and disinterested and she'll rapidly lose interest in continuing the conversation. If in doubt, just keep it simple - ask her questions, let her talk about herself and keep up the encouragement by looking and sounding as if she's the most interesting girl in the world.
So there you have it; it's not all about looking like Brad Pitt or having enormous self-esteem. It's about playing the game...and playing to win!
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Jon White is the founder of www.CupidNights.com - a market leading London dating site and a writer on relationship and dating issues.
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