Women have a very distinct advantage over the male species, they eventually work out how they think. However, first dates can still be a minefield, and certain things are best left unsaid.
"MY SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED IN SIX WEEKS AND MY
MOTHER WANTS TO SEE A DOUBLE WEDDING"
If you say this, not only will you make the guy run to another planet, but you may frighten him sufficiently to have a cardiac arrest. You may even be talking to a guy who wants to settle down, but this is a definite no no, on the
first few dates. Even if he wants a long term relationship, this is the best possible way to pour cold water over any budding romance.
"YOU MUST COME AND MEET THE FAMILY"
Don't rush the guy and back him into a corner, men react like feral cats to this sort of pressure, they strike out – far into the future with another girl on their arm.
"I AM SOLEY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CARE OF MY PARENTS"
Leave this information for a later time, if you do not want to scare someone off. The guy may be a caring sensitive guy, but they may well feel trapped.
"MY EX AND I USED TO COME HERE ALL THE TIME"
Nowadays most people accept that they are not going to have a single relationship, that will last their whole lives, in most cases, only Adam and Eve did that. If you are over the age of sixteen, chances are you have a history, but the first few dates are not the time to mention this fact.
"I AM OLD FASHIONED AND I EXPECT MY MAN TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING"
Firstly you are being territorial too early, and you are laying a claim to someone you have just met, that is bad enough. Then you compound the error by clearly stating you are looking for someone who will always pay. This information will come out eventually if that is the way you feel, but try and keep it under wraps, for as long as you can.
"MY KIDS EXPECT ME TO BE HOME AT 10.00 P.M."
You are either ready to date or you are not. This statement says that your children are more important than your social life. Accept the fact that you are entitled to a life of your own, and that you are not doing your kids any favors
by putting them first all the time. Draw on your family and friends and find another babysitter. Don't reinforce the statement that your kids are controlling your life.
"WOMEN ARE BETTER DRIVERS' THAN MEN, AND I WANT TO DO
ALL THE DRIVING."
Oh - a control freak. Men like to think that they are in the driving seat. By taking control on your first date, you are emasculating him, right at the beginning. Most men are happy to go into abdication mode and let you take over but at a later stage of your relationship.
"I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT WOMEN SHOULD WORK ONCE THEY
You may as well say I want to settle down immediately and have a meal ticket for the rest of your life. Even if you are talking to someone that does believe that married women should not work, on the first date this is taking things way too far.
"I AM A TEE TOTALLER, AND HATE TO SEE PEOPLE HAVE A
Lighten up and live and let live. Your date is nervous and might want a beer. That does not necessarily make him a raving alcoholic. If you are determined to take that hard line attitude, then sort it out before the date stage so that it does not become an issue.
"CAN YOU LEND ME SOME MONEY"
This statement does not reinforce the idea that you may want to see your date, because you enjoy his company. If you are going to be short of money, and it does happen to everyone at some stage of their life, but don't go out and lose the chance of making a relationship with someone because you need money. Try and get it from friends or someone that knows you better.
"I WANT SEX"
There are two reasons for this - don't waste time, arrange it first if that is what you want. Dual standards men can be immature in their appraisal and prejudge a woman who wants sex. It is what they want but who knows what they think, you may be classified as someone who is only interested in one night stands. There are plenty of web sites for women who want only sex, try there first. This does not even mean to say that you should not have sex, on the first date. Give
the guy a chance to do the running.
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